When life gives you lemons...

My heart has been heavy recently with news of a friend’s cancer returning; shootings that have become commonplace in our country; new construction in my area which decimated ancient trees and re-farmed, at least I hope so, beloved animals we liked to wave hello to; and with the general lack of courtesy and empathy seen all across social media.  Someone please remind me to stop reading comments on Facebook articles, the quickest way I know to get discouraged with humanity.  (Humans of New York is the one exception.  I read those Facebook comments to remind myself that people are good and kind, even online.  The series happening in Pakistan now, both the photos and the comments, simultaneously breaks my heart and makes it smile.)

My job as a mental health counselor tends to break my heart as well.  Over time I’ve learned to separate myself from the pain and trauma of my clients when I leave my office, but I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t impacted by it, or at least I would not be a human I like.  I’m deeply moved by the stories of heartache, longing, despair, and resiliency people entrust me with.  Being a container, a safe place to hold emotions, for each of my clients feels like sacred work.  To provide a container able to handle others intense emotions, I have to find my own container, otherwise my emotions will spill out onto others in my life.  Since I’m far from perfect, that emotional spillage does happen of course, but I’ve found that at various points in my life my own therapy helps, as well as my clinical supervision.  Most importantly for me, though, is living life in relationship and living life with joy.  Friendship and fun are a couple of my ways of combatting the harsh realities and sadness of this world.  Enter tutus.

I ran my first race in 2010 in a green tutu.  It was the 5k Portland Shamrock run.  I have since sported a pink tutu for the Girlfriends half-marathon, a rainbow tutu for the Hippy Chick Half marathon, and a green and red one for a Christmas fun run, among others.  One of my mom’s friends saw my tutu pictures on Facebook and sent me a sign that says, when in doubt wear a tutu, which sounds like a great life philosophy to me.  For a variety of health reasons, I can’t run anymore, but I jump at the chance to wear a tutu.  I believe in sparkles, tutus, bows, glitter, and color, especially pink.  No, I’m not a 4 year old little girl.  I’m a grown woman who enjoys all things whimsical and fun.  It’s hard not be happy when you are wearing a tutu.  Just typing the word tutu makes me happy.

Yesterday I walked a 7k fun run with a great group of women.  They know my love of dress up and tutus and they actually trusted me to pick out our outfits.  We looked adorable.  I can say that since I’m talking about all 7 of us, right?  Plus, it’s true:  We rocked those tutus and sparkly skirts!  We registered as a team with the name Lemon Drop Ladies, so of course we had to have shirts that went with that theme.  What is life without a themed outfit?   That’s completely rhetorical, by the way.  These shirts and our skirts were conversation starters all evening, particularly when we left the event and headed to NW Portland for dinner and treats. 

The Lemon Drop Ladies

When life give you lemons add vodka!

Little Big Burger was a great treat after our 7K walk!

The outfits were fun but the time with friends laughing and catching up made the evening magical.  I liked the times we were all laughing and talking together, but I especially enjoyed that I had meaningful one on one conversations with all 6 women throughout the evening. 

I’ve learned that I need to be intentional about finding joy in life.  Here are a few things that bring me joy and fill me up:  Dressing up.  I’m planning my Halloween outfit now and there are a few other outfits I have up my sleeve: pun, bad as it is, intended.  Reading.  I am always reading.  It is sometimes hazardous to my health, (try walking down the stairs reading a Kindle book, or actually don’t) hazardous to my relationships, (Steve and the girls will readily attest to the many times they try to get my attention when I’m lost in a book. Sorry, not sorry, family) hazardous to my sleep, (I can’t pull an all-nighter anymore but I have stayed up long past by bedtime to finish a book I can’t put down.)  Family.  I get the most joy in life from the people I love and my girls and hubs are at the top of that list.  They make me laugh, keep me grounded, and remind me every day that I am loved and that I belong to them and they to me.  Friends.  Living in relationship is foundational for me.  I appreciate all of the friends in my life, especially the ones that love me for who I am and let me know them and love them for who they are. 

Want to wear a tutu and walk a 7k with us?  We are already planning next year’s outfit.  In the meantime, when life gives you lemons, just add vodka…and friends, and tutus.